I have a lot of updating to do. My computer is on the fritz...yet again, and so I don't have any way to update photos. So I am sorry. I only have words for you.

I have been struggling a lot lately with my little 3year old Harrison. He is such a joy.... sometime. He is so difficult... most of the time. I am at a loss with him. Everywhere we go he is running around.... screaming.... hitting.... punching..... name calling.... and spitting. I really do not understand what I am doing wrong. I get glimmers of hope everyonce in a while that I am doing something right when he talls me "mom, you are the best mom in the whole world". I know most of you who read this will say to yourselves.... "thats boys for you". I have 2 other boys. This is not what I have experienced. I REALLY wish that Heavenly Father sent these kindred spirits with a how to manual.... or at least a short summary of how to trouble shoot.

Tonight for example... Jackson and Lincoln had been asked to participate in their schools dedication ceremony tonight. We were all excited to go and there were lots of children there. Harrison takes in upon himself to scream and yell at me... tell me that I am the meanest, proceed to run up the isle away from me, kick and hit little London, kick Bailee and her friend that were sitting in the seat in front of them, and throw his toy that he had brought with him. I then picked him up and hauled him out while he screamed at the top of his lungs. SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!! That was one of those moments that as a mom you want to just cry and throw your hands up in the air and say"I'm done". That was me tonight.

Benis in Calgary right now for work and he had the opportunity to go to the temple open house tonight (I am very jealous of that fact). I just opened an email that he sent me. He doesnt know that I am posting it, but I have learned that the Lord works in very mysterious ways. So after the day that I had today (which Ben knows nothing about) I get a letter like this:

Honey,

I wish with all of my heart that you could be here with me. I am just waiting in the chapel to go on a tour. The Spirit is so incredibly strong right now. It is absolutely touching. I hope you can somehow understand how I'm feeling right now, it's very similar to cuddling with London at night and singing her a lullaby, or watching our children sleeping peacefully.  While you cannot be here with me, you can do these things.  If you have a sad feeling, go and see the kids.  Be happy, God is here and His angels are pouring out His Spirit upon us now. I just saw Lance as well, he's giving tours.  I got to give him a gigantic hug.  Anyways. I'm sitting here emailing you and crying. I hope you understand how much I long to have you here right now. I miss you incredibly and love you so much. We are so blessed to be where we are.  When I get back, let's plan a temple trip immediately (the following Friday). I was talking with Al and he told me to get the daughter of the guy from the Sundance ward to babysit. He said she's a great girl.  Let's remember to catch them on Sunday and ask if she's available for Friday night. We need to go. I Love You.

Love,

Ben

I am very grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows just how to lift me up and a loving husband who listens to and follows prompting of the spirit.