Trying to keep up

So I have been really bad at blogging. I wish I could say that I'm going to do better and never get behind again..... but I would be lying. It is sad to think about everything that has happened since my last post in November that I have not documented. I have been really trying to focus on a few things first before I focused on my blog again. One was reading my sciptures everyday....which I have been successful at so far and two is writing in my journal, not my blog, but my private journal. I found this amazing website called "Oh Life" that will eamil you everyday a reminder email to write in your journal. The concept is so amazingly simple too, you get an email in your in box , you respond to it with your entry and they store it in an online journal for you.....for free!!!!!! I love it. So since I think that I have done a pretty good job of my two goals, I thought that now would be a good time to try this blogging thing again. So here we go..........

SO I'm a little frazzled to say the least from yesterday. Dr W wanted to put London back in hospital again. I am just so frustrated with this all. Why is it that his solution for everything is to put her back in hospital. He said to me yesterday, "I'm a little concerned that you don;t see this issue like I do". Really!!!!!!!!! I'm the mother. She's my daughter. She is absolutely beautiful and doing EVERYTHING that the others did. She is his patient and so he sees her from a medical view. Of course I'm not going to see it like he does. I don't think that he likes me much anyways. He pretty much asked if I wanted a new doctor. I don't want a new doctor. I think that he is a great doctor, I want my families life back. I don't want to feel like fingers are being pointed at me as the route cause of all of this. I am NOT a neglectful parent. I have 4 other beautiful healthy children. I am a very capable mother who loves her children very much. I want London to grow up to be healthy and strong. I want her to find an amazing young man and get married in the temple of her choice. I want us to take all of the kids to Disneyland someday and to laugh and be like every other family on this planet. I DO"T want to have her in hospital again and have the others worry about her. I don't want to have to go up to the Children Hospital every week for weight checks. I don't want life to revolve around her weight. I want it to revolve around how amazing and special she is, around her smile that can light up a room and her laid back, content, loving giant spirit that fills her tiny little body.

I am hoping and praying that this week brings good news. I am up at the hospital again next Tuesday. I will be praying hard this week.

I despise Halloween. I loath it actually. I think that it is by far the most worthless holiday. BUT the kids sure do love it, and it just happens to be Bens favorite holiday. So I am a little out numbered when it comes to my negativity about the whole day. Our ward had their yearly halloween party, this year it was a dance. It was lots of fun. The kids had a blast. Ben won for the scariest costume!!!!!
Is it me or is there something seriously wrong with this picture?

I have always been facinated with family history, but lately I have picked up working on it again. I went ot the family history centre the other night and worked with a lady in my ward (Darla Smigel) on trying to find my ancestors names. Together we found 15 names! I came home and was so excited. I found another 3 on my own at home the next day!!!!!!!!

A new .....

So I have tried writting in my journal. I am so not consistant at it and frankly I don't really like it. I thought that blogging would be easier. Not so. I am in so much awe at my sisters ability to just tell it how it is in her blog. I love how honest she is. I have decided to make this blog about me and my family. Anyone following is more than welcome to read the posts, but I have decided to stop worrying about others think and start posting for me.

Now thats I've got that behind me. I will begin. I have to say, these last 7 plus months since London has been born have definetly been challenging. There has been a lot of emotion on the surface of everyone at home. A lot of unknowns. A lot of unanswered questions. At one time, with her last hospital admission 3 months ago I honestly didn't know if she was going to live or die. How do I tell tell the other kids that their baby sister may not be coming home? She has had so many test run on her little body. She is such a tough cookie. I love my other children so much, but there is something so sweet about London. I know that we have been blessed with her for a very special purpose. I don't know what it is exactly, but there is just something very special about her.

London (7 months) and her bestest friend Eden (4 months).

I have had a lot of candid conversations with her GI doctor. We will call him Dr W. He is very good. I know that he has been a rough couple of 6 weeks, trying to get life back on the right track, but I am grateful that Dr W had the courage to speak up and to express his thoughts and feelings. It has forced me to start to make some changes with myself and for Ben and I to try to make some changes together. I met with him again today. I have been feeling as though he keeps pointing at me as the reson for Londons slow weight gain. I have left every meeting together questioning my ability as a mother and living in fear that CPS will show up at my door. I was happy to find out that was not the case. That being said, I think that maybe he needs to work on his delivery a little bit.

Harrison is 3 days without having an peepee accident. No such luck on the poop yet, but hey you got to start somewhere. I am so excited. He has also been dry for 3 mornings in a row. Heaven sent I tell you.

Lincoln is doing so well with his reading. I am so impressed with the progress that he is making at school. He is loving school and that makes me so happy. I was really concerned with how well he would do with school but seriously, so impressed. We are still working out a few behavioural issues with him, but all in all I have seen quite an improvement from the summer. I am curious to see what Dr Goldade says when we see her again in Novemeber.

Jackson is such a sweet kid. I love his hugs and kisses that he gives. He gives the best cuddles ever.

A couple of posts back I talked about my new stove and oven. Tahdah!!!!!! Here they are. Aren't they beautiful!!!!!!!

The temple

Yesterday was our yearly ward temple trip. I love this activity. It is such a good experience for everyone. It is an early morning, (5 am to be exact), and a 2 hour drive from Calgary to Cardston but the kids were so excited to go and see the temple. Our ward books a chapel in town where we can drop the kids off so that we can go through the temple. We arrived just after 8am and were rushing to get the kids situated to make the 830 session. Ben discovered the night before that his recommend was expired. We thought that we would be able to just get one of the members from the bishopric to vouch for him and all would be good. Not so. They would not allow him in the temple with an expired temple recommend. CRAP! Now this could have gone 2 ways. 1- Ben and I get mad and both leave upset and don't get to enjoy the temple, 2- I go in and he doesn't and one of us enjoys the temple. We opted for #2. It sucked going by myself (something that I don't want to do again in this life or the eternities...) but I love the temple. It is a great place to get a real perspective on things and to really get in touch with those things that are really, truly important. I am so grateful that we will have a temple in Calgary soon.

Cardston temple

Calgary Temple

Harrison is on day 6 of potty training. He is doing SO good!!!!!!!!! He is 2 days without an accident and this morning he woke up DRY!!!!!!! I so hope that he will be the first one that won;t need pull ups at night. I'm not sure that I want to do 4 of my potty trained kids in pull ups. It would be so nice to get him night time trained and then continue to work on the rest. I deserve it right?

Its a first!!!!

So a couple of firsts in the last couple of days.....

1- Harrison has started potty training!!!!!!! Now this may come across as something that I am excited about, don;t get me wrong I am all for changing one less bum. However the whole process of potty training......really detest. If there is one thing that I could contract out....it would be potty training. We are well on our way though. Today was day #3 and it was better than day #2 and much better than day #1. It can only get better....I hope.

2- London has sprouted her first 2 teeth in the last 2 days. They are little nubs right now but they are there. Bring on the beef!

So Ben and I have been talking for some time about moving into a bigger house. Now our house does just fine I understand that, but it would be much nicer to have something a little bit more functional. BUT neither one of us was really willing to spend and extra $100000 plus to do so. SO instead we are staying in our cozy home and adding a few extras. Like a brand new gorgeous Wolf gas range and a new dishwasher. I am very exited to use them. Now onto hot tub shopping!

A new milestone

London has reached a new milestone. She has home care come in once a week for weight checks. She is now 8 lbs 10 oz!!!!!!!!! We are getting closer to having a 9 lb party!!!!!! AND she rolled over! She's getting to be such a big girl.